Your memory was once there.
A full force that would knock me down. And send me sinking to the bottom.
I allowed the force to break me because hitting rock bottom hurt.
I wanted to hurt. I wanted to pretend that whatever was between us at least meant something.
I let it break me. But not to give you credit. I wanted it to break me because I learned a hard lesson about love and life.
I learned that the emotional tide you put on me was not fair. It’s not what a man should do a woman. It’s not how a man demonstrates love and affection to a woman.
Your memories no longer cause pain. Instead, they give me strength. Power. Power that encourages me to know what I deserve. Strength to know that I deserve to be treated 1000 times better than you ever treated me.
Strength to keep waiting for the one. The one who will love me for me. The one who will cherish my heart. The one who will love me like a lady should be loved. The one who will take away all my fears and make me feel the safe. The one who will pray for me daily. The one who will love God above me and seek His power to be the man I need in my life.
So your memories are now a rivulet in my mind. A small stream that no longer breaks my heart.
But the force you left with me will forever be there. You taught me what I don’t want.
I deserve the best. I deserve a Godly man chasing after God and His will. Not a boy.
After years, you’re finally gone. Just a rivulet in my life story.
ramblingsofbethany 