Cover up my flaws. Cover up my hurts.
Cover up my anxiety.
Anxiety.
Don’t show my true self. What if they don’t like me?
Breathe in and breathe out. I can’t tell anyone about how I’m feeling. About the racing thoughts that take over my mind sometimes. About the pain in my chest I feel when those thoughts won’t cease.
Feeling.
I can’t pretend anymore.
I must shed this costume that has been consuming me most of my life.
There is One Being I can’t pretend with.
God.
He sees me without my costume. He hasn’t left my side. Many times it feels as if He has, but it’s probably because I’m the one who wants to hide. Not Him. When I think about God, and how He sees me as His daughter, I can feel the costume fade away.
All my hurts. Imperfections. Flaws. He sees every single one and yet, loves me.
I know He loves me because I can feel Him when I look at the sun and when I feel the cool air wisp past me. I know He loves me when I walk on the sand and feel the waves touch my feet.
It’s His love and grace that encourages me to shed my costume to those around me.
If I can’t be my true self around those in my life, do they truly love me for me? Flaws and all?
ramblingsofbethany 